ArcaMax

It reminds me that most of us show our best, most restrained and polite behavior at work, when dealing with co-workers and customers, and then come home and growl at our families. But all of us should work hard not to growl at all.

I agree with your perceptive assessment that your wife’s rude and unprofessional behavior is actually causing her to feel more frustrated and angry at the end of the day. That is because she is not actually “winning” at work. She cannot close out her work days with the memory of successful interactions and positive feedback. Instead she carries with her the vestiges of constant conflict. What a burden!

If challenged, she might agree to putting a mirror at her workstation, or having you videotape a typical call. Do so without comment. Watching her own face and body language, and hearing her rudeness might inspire her to behave differently.

Dear Amy: I am a middle-age woman who lives alone.

I have a beloved pet. I work from home.

Before the pandemic I had very limited interaction with the public, by choice, but did go out freely on errands and shopping trips.

I consider myself a very cordial and pleasant person when encountering people.

Since the pandemic, my exposure to the outside world is close to nil and I have developed a bizarre habit that worries me.

Where I always had the habit of talking to my sweet pet in an overly sweet type of “baby talk,” I have noticed that I have carried this over to everyday areas of my life, almost like a narrative of sorts: “Oh, I'm washing my face, Ohhhhh! And we don't have a toweeeelll!' ... in a sort of baby-pitched sing-song.

This happens often, throughout the day — a bizarre, high-pitched narration to punctuate different activities or to highlight different thoughts, decisions or items on TV.

...continued