Ask Amy: Girlfriend wants to swing – alone
My Gut Says No
Dear Gut: Trust is a choice, and sometimes choosing to trust involves a very deliberate quieting of those emergent self-protective voices, while remaining vigilant concerning the person who betrayed you.
However – in your case – I am strongly urging you to go with your gut. Your first responsibility is to your mental health. You deserve so much credit for getting professional help when you needed it the most.
You should very deliberately avoid any triggers that might affect your mental health at this point, and the uncertainty presented by this relationship would be at the top of the list. You seem to instinctively know this, and that is why you are keeping your distance, now. Good for you.
Your girlfriend’s explanation of her own behavior does not make sense. “Swinging” is supposed to be a partner activity. If she is truly into swinging, then why didn’t she invite you?
Her use of the word “addiction” to describe her own behavior means that she will likely have to reckon with it in a more responsible and deliberate way. But how she handles this is not your problem, but hers.
Talk this through with a therapist, and continue to take good care of yourself.
Dear Amy: My granddaughter graduated in June in one of the 'drive-by' graduations done in so many places, due to the current pandemic.
She sent out announcements of the occasion and will hopefully have a party in late July.
Many people responded to her announcement by sending cash, checks, and gift cards at that time, but she does not intend to send thank-you notes until after the party, which means that people won't know until August if their gifts were received.
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