Life Advice



Ask Amy: Girlfriend wants to swing – alone

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I recently broke up with my girlfriend, but now she wants me back.

I saw her dozens of times in the wee hours of the morning tapping on her phone and then hiding the phone once she knew I was awake.

I didn’t do anything until someone in her inner circle came to me and said that I was “a fool to trust her, she has had a guy on the side the whole time, and that she wanted to break up with me but was afraid I would commit suicide.”

I did check myself voluntarily into a mental health unit for depression for a few days some time back.

I am crushed that she betrayed my trust (by discussing this with others). She admitted she told others about my hospitalization but claimed the rest is simply not true and that her hiding of the phone was because of an “addiction to learning about the swinging lifestyle.”

She is very unabashed sexually, and is also much younger than I (no I’m not a “sugar daddy;” I’m not rich and I don’t give her money).


She claims that she has since deleted her online accounts that she uses to access the swingers’ clubs and online swingers blogs.

She texts me every day, tells me she loves me, and says she wants me to trust her. She said she would never cheat on me.

We have continued to talk in person occasionally and I want to trust her, but I just have a gut feeling that I can’t.

Even if I dismissed what I heard as hearsay, I still saw her hide her phone, and she did betray my confidence regarding my stay in a mental health unit. What should I do?


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