ArcaMax

You should not keep any of this confidential from your daughter. She is the tenant, she has agreed to this arrangement with you, and she is sending the checks to her landlord.

Or is she? This should be your first question. Her landlord might have offered her a temporary rent amnesty – and she could be “banking” these checks (hanging on to them) to use later. Or – she is sending the checks to him and he is not processing them because he hasn’t been to his post box in a long time.

Or – as happened to me once – these checks have landed in that tiny space between his desk and the wall (I thought I had fallen into a magical secret windfall until my landlord suddenly cashed six rent checks at once).

Either way – you should find out what’s going on. If the landlord hasn’t been receiving payment for her apartment (for whatever reason), this could land her in a jam.

First, ask your daughter. Then confirm with the landlord that he is receiving these checks, and ask him if there is a reason he hasn’t cashed them. If it is out of the goodness of his heart, then you can thank him, personally.

Dear Amy: I have been estranged from my son for about 12 years; he refuses to have any contact with me. This was his decision soon after I divorced his mother.

Ironically, a few years after that event, my son was divorced from his first wife.

He is now re-married. I learned recently that he and his second wife just had a baby girl, my granddaughter.

I am thinking of corresponding with his wife -- my daughter-in-law -- in order to convince her that I should be able to see my granddaughter.

Such attempts could create friction in my son's marriage. Should I try to convince my daughter-in-law that I should be able to see my granddaughter or just drop all attempts and wait for a time that my son might seek reconciliation?

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