Ask Amy: Daughter wants to clean up after messy mom
I want to honor my mother and also be the responsible daughter. Any advice?
Loving Daughter
Dear Daughter: At the age of 90, your mother is probably not going to make dramatic steps to change. She might not be physically and emotionally able to deal with her hoarding disorder in any truly substantial way. (Hoarding seems to be related to anxiety, and -- longer-term -- you should ask her primary care physician about appropriate anti-anxiety medication that might help.)
Because you seem to be her primary caretaker, I suggest that you take this on – on your terms.
Ask your sister if she can take your mother on errands/outings for the day. Tell your mom that you and her granddaughter are going to handle this for her, and reassure her that when she returns, her home will be much easier for her to navigate. If your mother isn’t in the space and is instead distracted during the day, she might feel less anxious.
Dear Amy: In the past two years, I have given monetary gifts for graduations, birthdays, a bridal shower and a wedding.
I have not received any acknowledgment or thanks for any of these gifts.
At this point, I would settle for two words in a text message: "thank you."
Do young people feel so entitled that acknowledging a gift is not necessary?
One of the recipients is now pregnant and her mother-in-law is throwing a baby shower.
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