Ask Amy: She wants marriage; he wants a clean shave
I recently learned from a confidential reliable source that he was asked when he and I are going to marry. He replied, “Never. I have loved only one woman in my life, and if I didn’t marry her, I will never marry.”
I was devastated to hear this because he knows I want to marry him.
Should I confront him with what I have learned, or keep quiet as if I don’t know what he has said?
Anonymous Woman
Dear Anonymous: Let’s recap: You have been in this relationship for 10 years. Ten. Years. A decade.
You sound like a successful, smart, independent woman. Logic would tell you that a never-married man who reaches the age of 70 without marrying (and spending 10 years with you without marrying) would remain unmarried. And that a man who loves his own home and Monday-Friday barbershop hang-time would either invite you to join him, or would continue to enjoy this arrangement alone, because it works for him.
You have now heard that your guy has loved only one woman in his life – and presumably that woman is not you.
You seem to have surrendered your own rights in this relationship. I’m talking about the right to use your voice, the right to ask questions, the right to state – out loud – what you want, and the right to leave a relationship if it doesn’t serve your needs.
Dear Amy: We adore our two college-age nieces and have always supported them as equally as possible.
However, their needs are now very different, as the older one is starting med school.
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