Ask Amy: Mother worries about daughter’s rage
Dear Sad: Physically attacking you puts your daughter’s behavior in an alarming category. If she lives in your home, she should find somewhere else to live.
However, your letter contains some hyperbolic cues – and I wonder if your daughter might have inherited some tendencies from you. For instance, has she really misunderstood every single interaction between the two of you? Every single one?
Have you ever examined your own behavior to see if you might have made even one choice during her upbringing that might have contributed to her attitude?
Did she experience a trauma of some kind that might have thrown her off course?
“I won’t be around forever, and you’ll be sorry when I’m gone” is a fairly manipulative approach – it also puts your needs and perspective front and center.
Urge her to get professional help to talk through some of her challenges.
If you want to try to change the dynamic, you should stop being afraid of your daughter’s reactions. And don’t compare her to her angelic brother.
Dear Amy: I am struggling over whether I want my father in my life.
He was very abusive when I was a child.
I have confronted him and set boundaries, but he doesn't always respect them. He will yell and use foul language toward me.
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