Ask Amy: Mother worries about daughter’s rage
Dear Amy: I have a 24-year-old daughter and a 21-year-old son. I’ve raised them on my own.
The two of them are like night and day.
My son is extremely kind, does anything for me, and treats me with love and respect.
My daughter is always very rude. She starts arguments with both her brother and with me over nothing. She puts the blame on everyone else and refuses to talk about it. I can ask her what time it is, and she will be convinced that I yelled at her.
I love her so much, but I avoid even talking to her because I can't stand the constant conflict. I worry that if she is like this to others she will live a very lonely life. I've even tried writing a letter, hoping she would try to understand I'm not ever trying to argue with her.
I'm at my wits’ end.
How do I get her to understand that no one is out to get her? I'm just trying to connect with her. I want her to understand that I'm not going to live forever; I don't want her looking back with regret that she didn't try harder. Worse than that, I worry that she will finally realize that she completely misunderstood every situation and caused all of this emotional pain for both of us. This included one instance of her becoming physically abusive to me.
I had a wonderful relationship with my mom. It saddens me that I don't have one with my daughter.
I’m signing this with my tears.
A Very Sad Mother