Life Advice



Ask Amy: Long-married wife faces extreme surprise

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I found out recently that my husband of many years has been having sex with men for the last 52 years.

He says he is bisexual, but his appetite for sex with men is stronger than with women. He is into fetish and crossdressing.

I believe he needs to come out and live the life he craves, and not try to keep up the appearance that he is a heterosexual married man.

He says he never cheated on me with another woman, and that he would like to stay married. He offered to give me equal time to the time he spends with these men, but I know he has never been that attached to our sexual life. Plus -- I got married to a man who pledged his fidelity to me, and I chose not to share.

I feel this marriage is done. We both got tested and we are okay, but he is not only a regular at a couple of (senior) gay clubs, but also has put himself out on three internet sites, asking to hook up with anyone who would like to have some fun.

He will be 74 and I will be 80 next month.


Over the years, he went from seeing men two to three times a year -- to two to three times a week. We are talking about 100 to 150 different partners over the years.

He is not willing to give any of this up.

He says he will be honest with me about what he is doing when he goes out. Am I supposed to believe that?

What is your opinion? Do marriages survive this?


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