ArcaMax

I believe it should be up to the two of them to make the ultimate decision. Yes, they are young – but if they have made a mistake they will have to cope with the consequences.

Dear Amy: I need to distance myself from an eight-year friendship with a neighbor. This is hard to do, since we are more or less isolated due to COVID. I can’t use the excuse that I’m out with other people or tell a little white lie about why I can’t talk to her when she calls.

Her negativity, repeated stories, and complaints are driving me crazy. She has become extremely negative and unhappy.

I did tell her to seek therapy, and she said it didn’t help.

Our world is upside down right now and honestly, I want to savor every moment I have left. I just don’t have the patience to deal with other people’s issues right now. I don’t want to be a phony and pretend to agree with the things she says and does. I want to distance myself, but I don’t want to be mean.

Any suggestions?

Short-distance Friend

Dear Short-distance: Write down some simple statements: “I struggle with your negativity. I feel bad for you, but I know I can’t help you. I hope you get some outside help.”

“I need to limit my time talking and listening -- for my own mental health.”

None of these statements are “mean.” Your neighbor vents to you. You have the right to honestly speak your own truth.

Dear Amy: I didn’t like your answer to “Pandemic Pandemonium.” This man was complaining because his wife had stopped wearing makeup and was wearing old clothes at home.

Honestly, the pandemic has been a liberation from all of that for many of us, and if he doesn’t like it – he can lump it.

Free at Last

Dear Free: I didn’t take this as complaining, but as an expression of concern. Any time someone’s affect changes dramatically, it warrants attention.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)