ArcaMax

Because dogs are pack animals – they are hard-wired to never be alone. They are either with you, or are waiting for you to return. The way to train them to wait calmly is NOT to greet the “excited” (jumping, licking) behavior with human excitement, but to anticipate the behavior and create a new routine where the dog feels relaxed and secure.

Buster needs to understand and respect that you are now part of the pack and that he doesn’t need to protect his human from you.

It would be wise for the three of you to visit a qualified animal behaviorist, who can observe and work with all of you together.

Counterconditioning might work over time: this is where you basically retrain your dog to associate the challenging situation (you are in the bed) with a good outcome (he gets a treat once he is lying calmly on his dog bed). Do not punish him or force him into a crate when he is distressed. This will only compound his behavior.

The humans involved need to exhibit controlled, cool, calm, and firm but kind leadership. This is why observing how a human interacts with a dog reveals so much about the human.

Dear Amy: My husband and I lost our only child, “Ian,” 10 years ago.

He was 24. We are fairly social people, but when it comes to people asking us if we have children -- we cringe. Sometimes we can avoid it, but sometimes we can't. There are times when I have said “yes,” and just told them what happened.

It then makes us feel bad for saying anything.

My husband and I were discussing this on Father's Day. I've noticed that I also have trouble consoling people.

Any advice would be appreciated.

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