Ask Amy: Loyalty points don’t come with freelance work
Dear Amy: I'm 52 years old, and have come to the realization that I just don't like my family.
We're getting to the point at which we will have to visit with people, mostly family from both my and my husband's side.
I don't want to see anyone, and I feel childish about it, but I just don't like these people, so how do I elegantly get out of going?
We've been able to use the "quarantining" response, but I think we'll be in the green phase soon, and all bets are off.
Help!
Dear Help!: You don’t say why you don’t like your family (yours or his), but – given that you seem to not like a lot of people, you should at least spend some time in deep reflection to see if there are ways you contribute to the dynamic that you could perhaps change.
However, at the age of 52, you should not feel forced to spend time with anyone against your will. You could start by sorting out your genuine obligations (a family member’s illness, for instance), versus family pressure (you “having” to go home for Thanksgiving because you’ve always done so in the past).
You should also be brave enough to create distance without relying on a handy pandemic to relieve you of spending time with people you don’t like.
You don’t need excuses. If you are pressured to visit someone, you can say, “I just don’t want to do that right now.”
Dear Amy: I’m responding to the question from “Exasperated Mom,” who wondered how to motivate her teenagers to help around the house.
I told my teens they would have to do their own laundry. For 10 days, there were no clean clothes.
Finally, I heard the oldest say to his brother, “We’d better find out how to do this. I think she’s serious.”
Great Memory!
Dear Great: Wonderful.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
