Ask Amy: Job interviews by phone are not an easy call
Also, we don't live together, as I am also scared about moving in together due to what happened before him. What should I do?
Worried
Dear Worried: I hope you can understand that as long as you let your previous experience control you, you are basically letting your ex live your life for you.
The idea is to learn from your experiences and mistakes, without having to relive them on a loop. For now, take marriage off the table – removing the pressure that seems to be weighing you down.
Being left is definitely personally traumatic (been there, got the T-shirt). Counseling would help you to own your fears, without making your fiancé pay.
It is a true fact that no one is guaranteed a fairy tale, but the way toward a happy ending commences one step at a time. You could perhaps make some progress if you agreed to stay with your fiance for a two-week trial (having an end-date for cohabitation might make the first step easier).
Dear Amy: “Untexted in Texas” said that her husband texted an old friend from high school many times a day.
My ex-wife texts me frequently, even though she’s happily re-married to someone else. We’ve known each other for almost 40 years and she cares how I’m doing, especially since I live alone.
If “Untexted” has a good relationship with her husband, she should trust him until he gives her a reason to not trust him. If she doesn’t have a good relationship, she should work on that first.
Texted
Dear Texted: “Untexted”’s husband gave her a good reason not to trust him, by being secretive about his texting habit.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
