Ask Amy: Teacher should take her parents to school
He recovered in two weeks and is good, now.
He brings this up whenever we have Zoom calls with family or friends; he even brings this up with his clients. When it initially happened -- and the month following – bringing it up made sense. I realize that sharing with friends and family can help to process a scary event.
It has now been two months (it feels like six), and he’s OK. I’m confused as to why he still feels the need to talk about it now, however.
Healthy and Wondering
Dear Healthy: You went through this with your boyfriend, and so you have been exposed to this story many times from many different angles. You can have whatever interior reaction you want, but your boyfriend should continue to talk about this experience if he finds it helpful. His brush with serious illness might have deepened his empathy toward others. He may also be tacitly inviting you to share in this drama, and to confirm to others how challenging this was. There are fears about people developing the illness again – after they believe they have recovered – and he might be worried about that possibility.
Some people are genuinely traumatized by an experience with serious illness. If he is ruminating excessively or seems to be stuck in an anxious loop, you should encourage him to set up another appointment with his doctor.
Dear Amy: I smoked three packs of cigarettes a day and loved it for more than 35 years.
On November 1, 1992 I stopped smoking and went on the nicotine patch for six months. I still have three cigarettes in my freezer.
I still feel guilty for my children (none of them smoke) when they had to put up with both parents smoking in the station wagon.
I’ve saved enough cigarette money to take four trips to Europe and numerous cruises.
Recovered Smoker
Dear Recovered: What a testimony! (I may need to learn more about those cigarettes in your freezer…)
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
