Ask Amy: Isolation has worn down wife’s spirit (and hygiene)
Dear Amy: I have been married for 20 years (no kids). It has been a good marriage and we’ve worked at it.
Now I am befuddled. Ever since the pandemic hit, my wife has stopped wearing makeup or dressing up. Intimacy has stopped. Hugging and kissing has to be initiated by me. Even showers are optional, sometimes.
My wife has an extensive collection of clothes and shoes that she loved wearing on weekends.
Well, Amy, ALL OF THAT HAS STOPPED. I feel like she is a shell of what she used to be. I am not sure what to do. Now she will wear the same jeans for three days in a row. She provides vague excuses and reasons that don't make sense to me.
She is now obsessed with her job. She works from home and that seems to be the only thing that gets any emotion from her.
I get the feeling that she doesn't even recognize that she is doing any of this.
Is this a warning sign of something? Any advice?
Pandemic Pandemonium
Dear Pandemonium: First, a confession: Yesterday I attended the first (outdoor) family gathering in four months. In the course of trying to get (appropriately) dressed, I realized that I had almost forgotten how.
My point is that when the weekdays blend into the weekends, there seems to be little reason to change out of those three-day jeans. It has also been a weird time when we women watch our gray roots grow out, go without getting our teeth cleaned, don’t wear makeup or lipstick (what’s the point, behind a mask?) and don’t have the experience of primping for an important board meeting, or night out.
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