Ask Amy: Parents wonder how to get teens to pitch in
Dear Amy: I’ve noticed that often exasperated parents write in to complain about teenage, young adult, or even adult children living at home but contributing nothing.
Often you recommend treating them as the adults they ought to be or are becoming.
Amy, I’ve tried. I’ve tried chores with and without allowance. I’ve offered compensation in other ways (I do the laundry, make the meals, and you vacuum the living room).
I’ve tried establishing a barter economy of sorts - chores in exchange for phone payments, for example.
I’ve tried demonstrating hard work by doing it all – they watch from the sofa. I’ve tried boycotting by doing nothing – and I end up living in a messy house.
I’ve tried taking away anything they leave lying around.
I’ve appealed to my husband to lead by example. I’ve asked him to request they contribute. Really and truly, nothing works over the long term.
What would you recommend I do to get my teenagers to help out consistently?
Don’t they want to help someone who does so much for them? How do I get them to understand they simply have to?
Exasperated Mom
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