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Ask Amy: Grieving dad struggles to move on

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: Four years ago, I had a serious work-related accident. I was getting ready for my fourth surgery. It was a risky procedure, and there was a good chance I might never walk again. I was terrified.

Right before my surgery my wife left, which, in itself was hard, but she abandoned all four of her children too. Three of them were my stepchildren (they were biologically hers).

The two years since she left have been extremely difficult because three of our four children stayed with me and the fourth moved in with their biological father. My surgery went very well. It took a long time, but I can walk again.

My biggest worry has always been the kids, though. My ex-wife ignores all of them. She has never helped to support them.

They are so angry at her and I don't want them to carry that anger and resentment, because that's how I have been my whole life. I want them to be happy.

I give them all the love I have, but their mother’s abandonment has been devastating to all of them. I don't care about the pain she caused me personally, but my children want their mother.

 

It rips me apart that she only calls them every four or five weeks, and only sees them once or twice a year.

I'm just an old broken man that could really use some advice.

Broken Heart

Dear Broken: For you to help your children through this estrangement, it is vital that you find ways to become less broken. Your physical recovery is a triumph. Now you need to continue to expand and demonstrate your emotional resilience.

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