Life Advice



Ask Amy: Neighbor’s remodel turns ugly

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: Two years ago, our next-door neighbor was going to remodel his house in a way that would negatively impact us, so we asked him over for a chat.

My husband began an argument with him. My husband was inappropriate during this blowup. All during this unfortunate conversation, I was apologizing (a lot) and trying to get him to stop, which he eventually did. He apologized to the owner, who left our house very angry.

This neighbor went on to tell anyone who would listen that we threatened him and his family and that we were dangerous!

We did not threaten him, and we are definitely not dangerous.

I reached out to a mediator in hopes of mending fences, but they would not agree to attend, so I gave up.

Over the two years since that episode, I have been subjected to sneers, head-shaking, and dirty looks (by his friends) and a nasty comment from their family member.


This treatment is unwarranted. I am a community-minded person who looks out for people.

I have sent the neighbor a couple texts during this period regarding general neighborhood issues, and he is civil, but only via text; when we run into each other on walks, the whole family won't look at us.

I stand by my husband (he did apologize), but I am not him - I did not "DO" anything to this family. I have always been kind to them.

Why can't they just move on and get over it!?


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