ArcaMax

I think you'll feel a lot better about your situation if you choose to love your wife enough to trust her, completely.

Trust is a choice, and trust can sometimes be a heavy lift.

For now -- pretend that you do; act as if you do, and you will experience a liberation from your jealousy about this outside friendship.

Tell your wife that you'd be happy if she wanted to invite her genealogy friend to your house for their meetings. Say your hellos, serve the two some cheese and crackers, and then go and bowl a strike.

Dear Amy: I have a basic understanding of Spanish. I know enough to hold a friendly conversation. From my time working in a restaurant, I can handle pretty much anything related to food.

I personally find using a different language to be really fun, when the situation presents itself. However, I'm not sure when it is appropriate to do so.

For example, I know that the cleaning women in my building speak Spanish. Would it be inappropriate for me to say, "Hola, como estas?" when I pass them in the hallway, instead of "Hi, how are you?"

Or when I'm getting takeout and I hear the cashier speaking Spanish, would it be rude to order in Spanish instead of English?

I'm afraid that a white girl going out of her way to speak a different language comes across as pretentious. Or worse, like I'm implying that the person doesn't speak English well enough to interact with me in it.

Really, I just think it's a beautiful language, and at the very least, it'll help me get better at it. Do you or your readers have any advice?

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