Life Advice



Ask Amy: Woman wants partner to go under the knife

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I've been with my partner for two years -- he is 15 years older.

We don't want kids together for the foreseeable future.

I hate using birth control. I hate what it does to my body/hormones, despite the fact that it protects me from unwanted pregnancy (which I am grateful for).

I've asked my boyfriend if he could store his sperm at a sperm bank and get a vasectomy so that I can go off of birth control.

He comes up with excuses as to why he shouldn't, such as: "It'll change me as a man" and, "I need to do more research." I certainly understand needing to do more research -- who wouldn't! However, it's been almost a year since I originally brought this idea up to him.

The idea behind this decision is: If we decide to have kids later on (I'm still in my 20s), I'll still be able to try and conceive with the sperm that we've stored.


I resent that I'm forced to continue to use birth control, despite the fact that neither of us wants children, just because "he doesn't want to." I also resent the fact that a man's only forms of "birth control" are abstinence and condoms.

If we were the same age, I would probably just get sterilized myself. But again, I'm in my 20s and I don't see this as the best option at the moment.

He's in his 40s and has yet to conceive children.

I feel like I'm forced to suffer just because my partner doesn't understand my point of view and isn't viewing this situation in the most ethical, economical sense.


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