ArcaMax

-- Trusting my Gut

Dear Trusting: You seem to think that "not totally heterosexual" is a bad thing. Or that thoughtfulness and nurturing are exclusively female traits.

I know many people who would very happily be with someone who wasn't so locked into a specific sexual or gender identity.

Nor can I imagine why your revelation or insight would necessarily shock your daughter. Surely, she has noticed the same lovely characteristics that you have noticed.

"Lauren's" current partner might have transitioned across the gender spectrum, to land on a comfortable spot where he is a beautiful combination of female and male traits. If so -- unless there is some sort of undue deception or manipulation involved, the sort of thoughtfulness and loving kindness he displays should be celebrated.

I do agree that his lack of an online "footprint" raises a red flag, and Lauren should be aware of this and do her own due diligence regarding him. She should proceed slowly and thoughtfully.

However, she is an adult. She may be much more aware of gender subtleties and complications than you realize. She may be on her own gender journey.

Regardless, this is the very definition of "mind your own business."

Dear Amy: I recently lost my life partner of 40 years, as well as my last sibling (my beloved sister).

In each instance at the hospitals and mortuaries in different states each were referred to as "the body" or even worse: "the remains."

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