Ask Amy: Sandwich issue brings Costanza to mind
-- George wants Pastrami on Rye!
Dear George: First off -- yes, this is an ideal "Seinfield" episode. I can see it now: George -- frustrated and whining about being excluded by the Master Sandwich Orderer, while everyone around him weighs in with their own absurd solutions.
However -- you are not George. You aren't whining. In fact, your reaction -- to see this as an absurd situation and to see the "rye" (get it?) humor in it -- means that you are handling this frustration with some perspective. You are also being emotionally honest. This hurts!
Where you are failing is in your refusal to say, "Hey, 'Donald,' next time you do a sandwich run, can I get in on that?" You could also offer to go on a sandwich run yourself, but that might unleash an absurd escalation ("Newman!")
Donald might have made an assumption about you at some point in the past -- that you're not a "sandwich guy."
The way NOT to resent this is to ask yourself, "What would Jerry (Seinfeld) do?" and train yourself to let this periodic absurdity trigger a smile.
Dear Amy: After 25 years of marriage (which has been fine by all outward appearances), it has dawned on me quite suddenly that my husband may have (mild) Asperger's syndrome.
So much of what I've read online about Asperger's matches up to our experiences, and it would explain so much that has been odd, hurtful and frustrating for me over these years of marriage.
Should I share this possibility with him, and if so, how, and then -- what next?
-- Wondering Wife
...continued
