Ask Amy: An in-law loan goes bad
What should we do?
-- Owed
Dear Owed: Unfortunately, I think you should prepare yourself for the fact that you are unlikely to be repaid. You seem to have discussed financing terms with your in-law, but the terms are vague, and you don't mention having any signed agreement on paper.
Also - asking, "When can you pay us back" invites the answer, "Never." You should convey, "We expect you to begin repaying this loan on [specify a date]. Your monthly payment should be [specify an amount]. If you don't make payments, we have no other choice but to contact a lawyer."
Please -- this is an expensive lesson, but in the future -- never loan money that you cannot afford to lose.
Dear Amy: I was friends with a group of around a dozen women that I met during college 20 years ago. We all stayed friends over the years after graduating, taking trips together, gathering for baby showers, and enjoying an annual holiday gathering. I traveled out of town to attend many of their weddings.
Presently, many of these women are married with families. While the planned gatherings lessened over the years (family commitments started to take precedence) the group continued to vacation together each summer.
A few years ago, I realized I had been left off the invite list. I know this because pictures are posted on social media.
Another friend has also been ostracized. We aren't sure what happened or what prompted this exclusion. Seeing everyone smiling, together on vacation feels like salt in the wound.
I long for the days when I was included. Yet I also think, "Why be friends with a crowd that is no longer welcoming?"
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