Ask Amy: After his scam-sham wedding, friend tries again
Dear Amy: Our ostentatious friend is getting married (again) -- for real, this time. His first wedding was an extravagant affair, complete with a destination bachelor party, a destination wedding at a fancy resort, expensive bottles -- the works.
We gave him a sizable gift on top of our over-the-top travel expenses.
When the unhappy couple split up, after three tumultuous years, we discovered they were never married at all!
These two successful lawyers took a look at their relationship and decided not to file the marriage license. They would say that they were procrastinating, hoping their relationship would improve to a point where marriage would become less risky, but it never got there.
They certainly blew the 60-day window to file the license, but never returned any gifts.
Now our friend is engaged to a new woman. In true fashion, his bachelor party and wedding will be in fabulous destinations and will demand great expense.
We plan to give the couple a modest gift.
We can't help but feel some injustice has been done, though we're not sure what. He never even sent us a gift for our wedding. Is it petty to consider this all in the past?
-- Witness
Dear Witness: Your friend's sense of entitlement is ... impressive. However -- if you don't like the way this wedding is structured, you don't have to participate in it. Being invited to an extravaganza does not obligate a person to attend.
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