Ask Amy: College student learns equation: growth equals change
Dear Amy: Everyone claims that college is the best four years of your life. My friends always pressure me by saying that I only have a limited opportunity to go wild and have fun.
Recently, I have been having a lot of one-night stands and really casual sex.
The moment I realized how damaging this was for me was this past weekend where I hooked up with a guy who I thought was super-cute and honestly would like to get to know better.
The next day a group of us (including him) hung out. I pretended not to care about him. He was flirting with some of my friends (and other girls), so I decided to flirt with one of his friends.
I don't even know him that well, but I was avoiding how I was really feeling by flirting with his friend.
Why do I keep doing this and how do I stop? In this world where double standards are such a thing, I try to be the bigger person to pretend that I don't care, but I do.
I was truly upset when the guy I hooked up with was talking to one of my friends and I got jealous.
-- Young, Confused, on Edge
Dear Confused: First this: The same subset of people who claim high school is the most awesome time of life also claim that college is your last chance to "be wild," etc.
As a relatively ancient person, I'm here to tell you that no phase of life has a lock on awesome. And the experience of wild abandon is most wonderful when you are mature enough to treasure -- down to your cells -- the true joy of feeling your own "aliveness."
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