Ask Amy: Fellowship blows up over possible affair
Dear Amy: My wife and I are in a fellowship group with other families from our church. We meet for dinner at one house each month and visit after church. The families: husbands/wives/kids, are all very close and adore each other.
Unfortunately, it appears that one of the husbands and one of the wives (not his) seem to adore each other a little too much. They always sit next to each other at these dinners, and my wife and I have both noticed some funny business going on under the table.
The two of them will go off to "do the dishes" while the remaining adults continue enjoying the group conversation. All of this happens with their spouses present.
We weren't certain this behavior was obvious to anyone else, but my wife talked privately with another wife, and she and her husband are certain that something is going on.
Our emotions range from sadness to disbelief and anger that we are somehow facilitating a possible affair.
We don't want to talk with the two spouses on the sidelines, and we know that confronting one of the two in this possible affair will definitely bring the group to an end. What should we do?
-- Sad on Sundays
Dear Sad: "Doing the dishes" has a whole new meaning for me, now. Thank you for that.
Minding your own business is an option. Otherwise, you are sharing your reactions with the wrong people. This has become an open secret and a source of gossip. You could speak with the principals involved (I'm assuming the husband). You and your wife witnessed untoward behavior. So you say, "Your behavior has been noticed and commented on. I don't want to personally judge you, but ... it seems like you're headed toward some Commandment-breaking stuff. I'm giving you a heads-up. I'd hate to see people get hurt."
Yes -- this could implode your group.