Ask Amy: Wedding guests are put off by cash grab
Less-obvious requests for cash are honeymoon registries (or even so-called "cash" registries), which have become quite popular. My favorite registries involve specific items you can purchase for the couple to enjoy while on their honeymoon trip, such as, "Zip-lining through the rain forest" or "an afternoon of surfing."
Using one of these registries, I contributed for a honeymooning couple to have coffee and croissants at a café during their trip to Paris. They sent me a postcard from their trip, thanking me for the gift and completing the circle. Nice!
Just because a registry is set up, a guest is not obligated to use it.
In fact, because you intend to skip this wedding, you are not obligated to give the couple anything at all.
However, you can pat yourself on the back, because contributing to a worthy nonprofit is always a good idea, even if your motivation to do so is more passive-aggressive than generous.
Dear Amy: My siblings found out through an email from their nephew (my son) that I am going to be a grandmother.
I was away at the time, having just found out myself.
They all emailed their nephew to offer congratulations.
It is now four days later and not one of them has contacted me to congratulate me about the fact that I am going to be a grandmother.
We otherwise have regular communication.
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