Ask Amy: Granny should be the coach of family's team
Dear Amy: We are a group of grandmas who see our grandkids for hours or sometimes a few days at a time.
Our question is how we should handle punishments given by the parents when our grandchildren are with us.
When the parents of my grandkids ask how things went, I always say "fine," but other grandmas give a detailed account of everything that went on.
This discussion started when I was given instructions to deny my 5-year-old grandson treats while he was with me because he had defaced something at his house (I was not there).
During their visit, his older brother constantly reminded me that the punishment for his brother was to be followed while they were at my house.
I was left with the feeling that I could not spend the time with my grandsons as I wished.
I know that in order to have a presence in my grandchildren's lives, I need to follow the parents' instruction. However, I don't like how the punished child's sibling was policing the situation.
We all agree that any problem of significance should be shared, but how about the little things that come up?
-- Loving Grandmother
Dear Grandmother: Generally, grandparents should make their best efforts to adhere to discipline guidelines laid down by the parents.
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