Ask Amy: Flustered hosts seek rules for houseguests
-- Exhausted
Dear Exhausted: "Mansplaining" in this context would be if you were a world-renowned cancer specialist, and yet your husband felt the need to patiently explain to you how cancer works.
The way I read your situation your husband believes that he is communicating effectively with you. You bring something up, and he spends time telling you about it. This is his way of trying to connect.
You may want a less literal and more emotional response. You should bring this up, not in a way that blames him for behaving in a particular way, but with a goal to make some changes in the way you two communicate. Do you have particular responses that frustrate him? You should ask.
It's OK to say what you need: "Honey, when I told you about my relative's cancer, I want you to know that, honestly, I wanted to talk about my relative, not the disease. There are times when I want a hug, not an explanation."
Dear Amy: I was offended by the letter from "Embarrassed," as well as your response.
Embarrassed has a father who is expressing his own views on social media. There is nothing wrong with that! He has the right to express himself however he wants!
-- Upset
Dear Upset: According to "Embarrassed," Dad was insulting and offending people who attempted to respond to his rants. One consequence of that behavior is that others would be both insulted and embarrassed by it.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
