Ask Amy: Flustered hosts seek rules for houseguests
A good houseguest will be tidy, quiet, and respectful of the hosts' household schedule.
Yes, they should take the host out for a meal or an outing during their stay and offer to pick up the check.
They should leave their sleeping area tidy (offering to strip the bed), thank the host warmly before they leave, and follow up with a note and/or an enthusiastic phone call when they return home.
That's how guests behave when they want to be invited back (your houseguests quite obviously don't).
You said that you didn't want to make a scene at the restaurant, but stating your own needs, plainly and politely, doesn't qualify as making a scene. At the very least, you could have responded: "How about you pay for your bottle of wine, and we'll split the cost of the food bill, buddy."
Dear Amy: It just happened again. I told my husband that a distant relative of mine died from cancer and in return, he spent the next 10 minutes describing to me how cancer is detected and spreads.
I've recently become aware that many of our conversations go like this -- with me making a comment and my hubby of 40 years explaining how things work.
Honestly, I don't know if this is a new thing between the two of us, or if I'm just now waking up to it.
When he does this, I get angry and feel shut down. Is this what they mean by the term, "mansplaining?" It's exhausting.
Explain, please!
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