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Ask Amy: Roommate drama presents housing dilemma

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear M: If you find yourself continuously drawn into your roommate's drama, then you will have to demonstrate a higher level of self-control.

Yes, your feelings are justified. The fact that you have to ask if you have the right to feel them is evidence of how far you will have to go to extract yourself.

If this entire situation has become untenable for you, you could ask your roommate to find other housing. I assume that you have a lease and that you are on it, but she is not. If that is the case, you function more or less as a landlord, and your roommate would be in the apartment on a month-to-month basis. If her personal situation is seriously encroaching on your right to the peaceful enjoyment of your own home, then you could give her 30 days to find other housing.

If you are mostly annoyed by the ethics of her romantic situation and by the fact that she has terrible taste in men, then you should create some distance. If you're out with your roommate and he shows up, you should leave. If he is staying over too often, you should ask your roommate to reduce the amount of time he spends in your home. If he is a threat to her -- or you -- you should call the police.

Dear Amy: I walk with a couple of friends once a week.

At the end of our one-hour walk, we stop at a well-known chain restaurant to sit on the outside patio and talk.

 

I always bring my own bottle of water, but my two friends go inside the restaurant, and come out with a free cup of water without ever buying anything. This really bothers me.

Is this behavior acceptable?

-- Walking and Talking

Dear Walking: Given that you are basically perching on this restaurant's outdoor chairs, which they own, pay for and maintain -- without even so much as setting foot inside the restaurant -- I don't know if you should complain about your friends. This is not a public park. It is a place of business.

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