Ask Amy: Almost-ex-wife wants to warn the next woman
Dear Amy: My "very charming" psychopath/personality-disordered, almost ex-husband has found his next victim -- his first girlfriend from college.
It has been over 30 years since she dumped him in college, and she has likely forgotten the reasons behind their breakup.
He is using his fake-charm to lure her into a long-distance relationship, and will trap her through marriage, etc. with financial attachments. This is how he got, trapped and messed me up with lies and a life of chaos.
Should I forewarn her of patterns to expect so that she's not fooled like I was?
-- Soon-to-be-Ex
Dear Soon-to-be: You might as well try to warn this woman about what she is in for, but you should expect to be ignored, disregarded, or criticized.
If delivering this warning would put your own legal separation/divorce proceedings or child custody at risk, do NOT do it.
Only do this if you can do so safely. Write down your statement, and take a lot of time to review it. Keep the tone as neutral as possible. Do not use any inflammatory language ("psychopath," etc.), but do tell her in general terms about the financial issues and overall chaos of your life with him. Be aware that anything you write could be shared with others, and might be taken out of context and used against you.
Do not post this on social media.
It sounds as if your own life will stabilize once you are divorced. I hope you will grasp and enjoy your own second chance.
...continued
