Ask Amy: Older father hates Granddad assumptions
Dear Amy: I am a happy father. I was overjoyed to have my first child at the age of 57.
My boy, "Michael," is now 11, and in the fifth grade.
My problem is that most of the younger parents assume that I am Mike's grandfather. I always promptly correct that assumption, saying that that I am his father and that we started late.
Some of these statements are made within my son's earshot. This has an impact on attending parent/teacher meetings and school functions.
This embarrasses both of us. He is a sensitive lad.
He has even said that he hates his parents being so old. (His mother is 47, but she looks much younger).
On one occasion a very heavy-set woman told me that I must be Michael's grandfather. My response was to congratulate her on her pregnancy. As she assumed, so did I.
I would appreciate some help in addressing this issue. as it is a constant source of emotional distress.
-- K, in Colorado
Dear K: The way to address this is to acknowledge your son's perspective and feelings, without giving in to them.
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