Bereaved daughter worries about mom
I'm suggesting that you find ways to examine your guilt more fully, to try to discern where its roots are (a therapist or grief counselor would help).
You don't say much about your mother's response to your father's death. No doubt she has relied on you and your sister for comfort and company, but most parents accept that a child's job is to eventually leave home, while the parent's job is to let them. Yes, your mother is facing another transition. She might feel sad and lonely. You must trust that she can find ways to manage her feelings, just as you will find ways to tolerate and manage your own. Your duty is to live your own life, freely and fully.
Talk to her. She may have ideas for her own future that she hasn't yet shared with you. If it appeals to her, co-housing with a friend (or another amiable adult) might be a positive short-term plan.
Understand that even if your mother is conflicted (she will surely miss you), your decision to marry is an optimistic and beautiful bid on your future.
Dear Amy: I am a woman working for a corporation. I have a male co-worker at a similar professional level who asks me questions about his/our work on a daily basis. None of my other co-workers ask me as many questions as he does.
Sometimes these questions have a simple answer, like confirming deadlines, and I give him the benefit of the doubt and provide the answer when I know it.
More frequently the questions are, "How do I...?" I feel like these should be directed to a supervisor, since my job responsibilities do not include training other employees.
My response is usually to grudgingly help if I have the time, or an "I don't know, sorry" if I don't know or don't feel like answering.
I'm torn between being a team player and being a tattletale. While I don't mind helping out when I can, I honestly feel his questions are directed to me too frequently. Sometimes he finds the answer himself only a few minutes after sending me the question, which makes me feel like I'm his first option and that he doesn't care if he wastes my time.
Should I pretend I don't know the answers and hope this discourages him, while keeping the peace, or do I need to be assertive and tell him he should be asking our boss these questions instead?
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