Life Advice

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Health

Bereaved daughter worries about mom

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am getting married in a little over a year and will be moving out of my mom's home.

I'm scared to move out, however, because then my mom will be all alone.

My dad died of cancer two years ago, and my sister is getting ready to go to college, away from our hometown.

I'm afraid my mom will be lonely or become depressed in our absence. It makes me hesitate to make decisions for my future home or even my wedding because I don't want to think about how it might affect my mom in the future.

How do I deal with this guilt I'm feeling, and the feeling that I'm leaving my mother all alone?

Of course, I intend to spend as much time with her as I can, even when I'm starting my own life. I just don't know how to not feel guilty about it.

 

-- Distraught Daughter

Dear Distraught: Guilt is a tricky and sticky emotion.

People who have experienced grave losses, like you have, often bear guilt -- along with their grief -- as intertwined and intractable feelings.

Young and healthy survivors sometimes feel guilty, simply because they are still here, while their loved one is gone.

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