Ask Amy: Husband's snide statements bewilder spouse
Dear Amy: I have enjoyed 10 years of emailing with an old high school flame.
As far as I know, we were both single and free to correspond. He was ever-present in my life, and we were in touch at least once a day. Recently, for the most part he has stopped communicating with me, and I am feeling anxious about his absence.
Should I continue to try to connect on occasion, or just stop emailing and let the relationship come to a natural end?
My thought is that he has found a romantic relationship that is now his primary focus and that I should take the hint. I do not want to let him down or harass him when he has better things to do.
Should I let go?
-- Faithful Correspondent
Dear Faithful: If you have been a daily presence in one another's lives, it would be most natural for you to have noticed -- and remarked upon -- his absence. You don't seem to have done that, and you should at least ask yourself why you don't feel comfortable enough to ask a natural question: "Hey, what's up? Are you OK?"
You could then go a little further: "I don't want to bug you, but I've noticed your absence and I just want to make sure that you haven't fallen down a well or something. If you have fallen down a well, send up a signal and I'll do what I can to help."
Dear Amy: "Wrathful Geek" described seeing the man who sexually abused her sibling in childhood at sci-fi conventions.
Thank you for your advice. These gatherings are attended by young and vulnerable people, and can be prime hunting grounds for predators.
I agree that Wrathful should check the Sex Offender Registry, but regardless of what she finds, she should notify security at the event.
-- Concerned
Dear Concerned: "Wrathful" described the perpetrator getting away with his crime, due to the family's refusal to notify the police. However, I assumed it was possible that he had offended elsewhere. I applaud this person's choice to try to protect others.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
