Ask Amy: Relationship ghosters become friendship zombies
He broke up with me, and I am heartbroken. Do you think we could work this through?
Am I wrong to want him to tell his mom, when he lives with her and sees her every single day? I don't know if I am being ridiculous.
-- Sad
Dear Sad: You are not at all wrong to want honesty and full disclosure.
But ... you don't know this man's mother. You are still becoming acquainted with the wider world, but yes -- there are people out there who cannot be trusted to handle the truth. If your guy's mother is toxic, manipulative and controlling, he is naturally going to want to operate well below her radar.
His eagerness to live his own life on his own terms should accelerate his efforts to move out. You behaved according to your own values, and, regardless of whether you two can reconcile -- it is never wrong to assert your own needs.
Dear Amy: Thank you for the advice to "Stressed Server" to not read online reviews unless directed to do so by the manager. While negative reviews can be very useful, they can also be petty and unkind. It is the manager's job to wade through them and choose the appropriate response.
-- Restaurant Manager
Dear Manager: A wise editor once told me, "Don't read the comments. That's my job."
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
