Ask Amy: Trauma survivor faces more challenges
Your tenacity and courage have likely helped you to answer the first two questions. Your strong and loving emotional connection with your partner is prompting you to grapple with the third.
A therapist with experience dealing with CSA could help you to put the pieces together. Fortunately, you are at a university where there are likely experienced practitioners available to help you, for low or no-cost. Please accept professional help, as you continue to build on your impressive success.
Dear Amy: I live in a retirement community that provides dinner.
On one evening recently, there were six of us at the table. One woman in the group has a habit of picking her teeth after eating.
Last night after picking her teeth, she laid the appliance she uses on the table. It was extremely off-putting.
Would putting an anonymous note in her house in-box be rude? She does eat with other people, so she would not know who sent it.
-- Queasy in Florida
Dear Queasy: Which would you rather receive -- an anonymous note that could have been sent by anyone (or everyone), or a discreet message delivered by a specific person? I believe the stress of receiving this correction would be much less if it came from one person.
The next time this happens, after dinner you should approach her and say, "I'm wondering if you could do me a favor. I enjoy eating dinner with you, but I get queasy seeing you clean your teeth at the table. Could you wait until later to do that?"
Dear Amy: Like "Wanting More," I always wanted to have more children, but my husband wanted to stop at two. I found ways to be with lots of children: Babysitting for respite care and in the church nursery, volunteering for the Pregnancy Center, babysitting for friends and family, etc. Finding ways to be around other children may help her fill that void.
-- Content and Fulfilled
Dear Content: This is a healthy way to meet your own needs through service to others.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
