Ask Amy: Abandoned child says no to father's friendship
This was six years ago now, so the friend request out of nowhere has me jolted. I feel the same way I felt when I was 7. I feel angry and betrayed.
What should I do: Accept his request and explode, or ignore it and then explode?
-- Angry and Confused
Dear Angry: By all means -- feel your feelings, tap into your anger, and let that abandoned and hurt 7-year-old within you roar. It would be best for your immediate family if you didn't spray rage-shrapnel over them, however. A therapist would help you to detonate your emotions in a controlled environment.
You are an adult working through a childhood marked by loss.
Your biological father's friend request might be a function of an algorithm, automatically sending friend requests to everyone he is even remotely connected to.
Your father has the ability to contact you by means other than Facebook. If you decide you have something to say to him, you should write down your thoughts in the form of a letter, read it through a few times, and -- once you are certain that it says what you want to say -- send it to him.
Dear Amy: I recently broke my ankle and have been house-bound for six weeks.
Thankfully, I'm able to work from home.
Unfortunately, I'm feeling underwhelmed with the number of visitors I've had. My otherwise lovely in-laws have been completely silent. They haven't offered to come over, or bring dinner, or help my husband with housework.
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