Life Advice



Ask Amy: Abandoned child says no to father's friendship

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My biological father recently sent me a friend request on Facebook, and it is freaking me out.

He abandoned my mother while she was pregnant with me.

I am a 31-year-old woman with a husband and a 10-year-old child, and I can't seem to forget my own father's abandonment.

Six years ago, I decided I was going to find my dad. I wanted to find him and his family and see what their life was like. He was easy to find. I spoke to his niece first, and then reached my half-sister.

The lies emerged quickly. He'd told his kids that they had a sister out there (me) but that her mother took her away and he didn't know where or what my last name could be.

I was born and raised in the same town my whole life -- the same town that my mother lived in when he abandoned us. He visited us when I was 7, and my mother still lives in the same house!


My mother has never said one negative thing about him. Her family loved him and to this day say they don't know why he did what he did.

I call BS. He never looked for me. He did not want his kids to find me, either.

He lied about us. I was (and am) obviously very angry.

When I spoke to my "sister" and "brother," they asked if they could give our "dad" my phone number. I declined and said I only wanted to speak with them, not him.


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