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Widower deals with 'don't marry' demand

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

You sound like a good and kind person, and so the kindest assumption about this unkind demand is to assume that your child is still grieving the loss of their mother. Sometimes loss leads people to make twisted assumptions, for instance that a new marriage would somehow erase the long and loving one you shared with your late wife. Reassure this child of yours and then continue to assert yourself as a worthy potential partner.

And then, frosty or not, you should move forward, trusting that your child will also find a way to deal with your reality.

Dear Amy: Less than two weeks ago, my mother passed away after a battle with cancer. She was a wonderful mother to my sisters and me, and though my grieving began with her diagnoses, I'm devastated that she's gone.

Our father passed away four years ago, and, like my mother he was a wonderful parent.

For the past year I've been living with my boyfriend and his 93-year-old mother. We've broken up a few times over the past 20 years, and -- suffice it to say, he's been verbally and physically abusive. He is also charming, humorous, adventurous, (sometimes) kind, and is very handsome.

He has always lived with his mother, and she is often insulting, judgmental, and meddlesome.

 

Three years ago, my boyfriend was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer. He's been enormously strong mentally and physically; however, with each passing month, the cancer is taking its toll.

I'm so conflicted; I want to leave this relationship, as I question why I have fallen back into its tentacles over and over again.

How do I leave this man when he's suffering from terminal cancer?

-- Conflicted

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