Parents are at an impasse on family size
It sounds as if you have a partner who is at capacity. He doesn't seem equipped (or willing) to embrace the messy chaos of life with young children. (For clues to understanding both of your core values and orientations, look to your own childhoods.)
The reason the person who wants fewer children might prevail is because parents who are feeling overwhelmed, pressured or powerless tend to find ways to exit, either actually (by leaving) or virtually (through neglect).
In order to be in a family with you, your husband must now tolerate some things that seem to really bother him: the lack of freedom, time and money.
In order to be in a family with him, you might need to learn to tolerate that ache you feel for more children.
In the absence of a happy compromise, you could work on your own personal capacity to be happy, anyway.
Dear Amy: I live with my spouse in her parents' home. We rent from them, and they live elsewhere.
Her mom always wants to come to the house. It seems that every weekend, she finds a reason to come over.
Also, she is a very controlling person. If we tell her it doesn't work out for her to visit, she gets very angry.
Do you have any advice for us?
-- Encroached Upon
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