Life Advice



Friend weighs reaction to relationship rescue

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My friend is an alcoholic. Sometimes she tries to stop drinking.

In addition to the alcohol, she seems to be addicted to an abusive relationship.

When she is with the man, he verbally and physically abuses her, and she calls friends and parents for help, apparently truly frightened for her life.

He has threatened her family, too. He is a scary guy.

If someone steps up to rescue her, she plays with getting sober, may or may not find work, etc. Then the guy calls her, threatens to have her arrested on ridiculous charges, and "forces" her to return to him.

This cycle repeats itself. When she is sober and away from him, she appears to see how destructive the relationship is. But he always sucks her back in.


How can I (and her other family) help, other than prayer?

Do we continue to "rescue"? Do we leave her with him, knowing she could end up dead?

-- Longtime, Worried Friend

Dear Worried Friend: This is an exercise in powerlessness and patience.


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