Elder is in a jam after surrendering her car
How should I respond?
-- Vexed Gran
Dear Vexed: These distant grandchildren have not been taught to be polite. They don't seem to have any relationship with you outside of your gift-giving, and it sounds as if you have tried, mightily, to get to know them.
This GoFundMe request is an opportunity for connection. You could respond and say, "Hi, I received your request. This sounds pretty cool, but could you tell me more about it? And how are you, by the way?"
If you receive no response, then no, you should not donate. In my view, you should keep up your gift-giving (if you are able) until they are 18 and then stop. Your communications with them should be mature and tolerant. You should not scold them for not being in touch, but you should be honest and convey, "It's very challenging to try to stay connected with you when we only have a one-way communication. I'm doing my best. It would be great for me if you would get in touch occasionally, too."
Dear Amy: Regarding "Crystalized," who set her table with expensive glassware ... there is an old phrase: "If you can't afford to lose it, you can't afford to use it."
-- Not Broken
Dear Not Broken: I love it.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)