Elder is in a jam after surrendering her car
Dear Friend: I assume that your friend still has her driver's license. If you are local, and available, you could guarantee her specific days and times when the two of you could go on outings. If you believe she is a safe driver, then let her drive.
Cabs and Uber or Lyft rides are great -- and using the auto-billing is very helpful and handy, but these options may take some getting used to. You could accompany your friend on a few of these trips to show her how easy it is to use the app on her phone.
Many riders develop relationships with specific drivers and can make arrangements to be ferried around on an appointment basis (I do this myself with a couple of favorite drivers in different cities who have shared their contact information with me).
Your friend has changed her residence and surrendered her own car, but this doesn't mean she has completely surrendered her life and choices to her daughter. Discuss all of this with her, offering up whatever safe options you see. Ask her first if she would like you to discuss any of this with her daughter, but otherwise, she still has the right to make her own choices.
Dear Amy: I have three grandchildren from two sons. Two of them have always lived many miles from me.
The thing that bothers me most about the "distant two" is that they never respond to my emails or texts, and never acknowledge receiving gifts/money in birthday cards.
One is a junior in high school, the other in seventh grade.
Of course, I realize their parents (divorced) are as negligent as they are, but at this age, I feel they bear responsibility, too.
So, the junior that I have not heard a word from for over a year just sent me a GoFundMe email to donate to a school activity! I want to do the right thing but am not feeling all that generous right now.
These two have been badly spoiled by the divorced parents and the maternal grandparents, and I see a sense of entitlement that I do not want to perpetuate.
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