House-sitting job reveals messy problem
If she intends to chew us out, I might dissociate and look like I don't care.
How do I ask her to keep her temper down?
-- Dirty House Owner
Dear Owner: I'm not sure why you are waiting with bated breath for this face-to-face showdown, rather than continuing to communicate in order to try to repair things now.
I take it that your friend has unloaded via text, and you have responded in kind, but an actual phone (or Skype) call is less passive (read: chicken), and you and your partner would be able to both talk and listen, rather than merely respond to her venting.
Tell her, "We appreciate what you are doing and we feel terrible about the condition of the house. Everything got away from us at the last minute and we're so sorry. How are things going now? Do you have any questions?"
If you have already offered to pay her, follow through. A gift box of goodies sent to her attention and delivered to the house might go the rest of the way to respond to her disappointment.
After this effort, you should assume that you have cleaned up your mess from a distance. She will either accept this, forgive you, and move on -- or she won't. She doesn't get to hold you hostage over this mistake.
"Dissociating" during a conversation should not be an option for you. That's what toddlers do. Take this out of your playbook.
Dear Amy: You seem to think we should all just get along. But how can one talk to people who are OK with ripping nursing babies away from their mothers?
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