ArcaMax

We all decided to dress up as people from an iconic TV show. However, two of my co-workers, who are light skinned, are going over the top to change their skin tone to match the darker-toned cast members.

I personally do not feel comfortable with this and I think it is not only insulting, but very unprofessional.

I'm not sure how to get that across without being rude and my attempts at reconsideration have fallen on deaf ears -- it is clearly innocent and meant as a joke in their minds.

I personally do not see it as a joke, and I don't want to be involved in a group photo with two people doing something I don't agree with. What can I do?

-- Insulted

Dear Insulted: Artificially changing the color of your skin in order to use another person's race as part of a costume is demeaning and racist -- no matter who does it.

Iconic TV characters likely have many characteristics aside from the actor's skin tone that your co-workers could use as part of their impersonation.

Given this rude, ill-considered, potentially career-ending behavior on the part of your co-workers, why are you worried about being rude?

You should say, "I get that you think this is lighthearted and funny, but I'm not comfortable with it. I think this is racist, and not cool or funny at all."

Do not, under any circumstances, appear in a photo with these "jokers."

Dear Amy: Sorry, but I don't think a distant relative has any business searching for and outing people who may have a genetic connection.

Mind your own business out there. Stay out of the genetic pool.

I think encouraging such butting in is detrimental to all. You shouldn't do it.

-- Disappointed

Dear Disappointed: The thing about the genetic pool is this: you can't actually "choose" to stay out of it. A person can definitely choose not to search for (or reject) DNA relatives, however.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)