At family gatherings, play 'please pass the politics'
Dear Amy: At a family gathering, I completely lost it when my brother-in-law started spouting birther conspiracies.
I called him a racist effing moron and stormed out.
I know I did not handle this well. But what else could I do?
I try not to talk politics with that side of the family, but I believe racism must not go unchallenged. Should I apologize for my heated response?
-- Not (Usually) a Hothead
Dear Hothead: Let's stipulate that your assessment of your brother-in-law might be 100 percent correct. However. You should have read the room (likely crowded with family and, I assume, children), and chosen to behave better than he.
As we enter the holiday gathering season, many families (including my own) are facing these relational challenges. It is a huge lift to gather with family members who have extremely divergent political views -- and yes, some people seem emboldened to express genuinely bizarre -- and hateful -- beliefs.
Ideally, we would all be able to gather as families and engage in spirited but respectful conversations regarding the news of the day.
I don't know any family that actually manages to do this (including my own).
Your brother-in-law spouted a demonstrably false conspiracy theory directed at our former president. You responded not by attacking his views and debunking them, but by attacking him personally and directly, using a profanity, and then storming out.
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