Newcomer's wealth impedes friendship
The rise of telecommuting is likely one factor, because this means that you can continue to draw a high salary as you live in a beautiful place that unfortunately also has lower wages and fewer professional opportunities.
But your question is really about relationships. You should continue to dive into local friendships. Use your professional expertise to help local organizations. Some people will not be able to overcome their own prejudices in order to accept and befriend you. There is nothing you can do about that. Understand their concerns, use your wealth for good, love where you are, and appreciate your privilege -- but don't apologize for it.
If you fall into the expected pattern, within a relatively short period of time you will consider yourself a local. Then it will be your turn to resent newcomers.
Dear Amy: I love your advice because it is always very practical and you look at things from multiple perspectives. But... (you knew the 'but' was coming) I'm responding to the recent letter from TK, and have to point out something from my 14 years in the deathcare profession.
Funerals and memorial services are ABOUT the deceased but they're FOR the people who are left behind.
When you love someone and they die, there's a need to honor their life and the connections built during life. This is a really important part of grieving.
I'm not saying the event has to be a traditional gloomy religious experience. As a certified celebrant I focus on the person's life, their legacy, and pointing their loved ones on a healthy path toward healing their broken hearts.
I can't tell you the number of times families have felt terribly conflicted because they want to honor their loved one's request, but they need the opportunity to acknowledge their love and gratitude for the person they've lost.
-- Julie
Dear Julie: Thank you so much for lending your expertise to this very tough question. Grieving people have legitimate needs, and after a loss, their own emotional needs should be met. You are performing an important service, as a steward and a guide.
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