Addict inches his way toward recovery
Dear Amy: I was with my ex-wife for 20 years. We divorced four years ago. I'm 42.
We were on drugs the whole time we were together, so naturally there were some bad times, but I still love her.
I do not do drugs anymore, but have developed a drinking problem.
I know she is gone and not coming back. We have not spoken in three years.
I still have vivid nightmares about her coming back, just to leave me again.
I had one this morning, and I'm still shaking.
I know I need therapy, but I do not have health insurance, nor can I afford it.
I quit one drug only to let another hold me hostage again, but there is a difference: I'm not embarrassed to hold a beer -- at least it's not a glass pipe. I know that is a horrible excuse, but I live in Las Vegas and drinking is not frowned upon.
I want to stop, and I want to get over my ex. I have had two relationships since my marriage that were a disaster because I could not fall in love with them.
For all my ex-wife's issues, they still could not measure up. They wanted a relationship now, and I just was not ready. I have serious emotional problems and I do not know what to do.